Thursday, September 21, 2006


La Historia De Hugo, El Pequeño Burro

Although I am highly suspicious anytime Nancy Pelosi, Rangel, or any other Democrat has something nice to say about W, kudos to them for telling Hugo Chavez to shove it. This is one of those coinky dinkys (that’s a new phrase I just learned) about our democratic way of life. Our politicians, you’ll notice I didn’t say leaders, fight like cats and dogs, call each other every name in the book, and even stoop to sifting through their opponent’s garbage looking for dirt. But let someone from another country make inane comments about our President, and Katie, bar the door. It’s like the time I was in a bar in Houston one afternoon and there were several patrons who had clearly been over served. One guy was blabbing about something and someone at the other end of the bar (in an effort to shut him up) said something about his mother. The first guy went ballistic. “You don’t talk ‘bout my maaaama…I’ll (insert physical action) your (head, butt, or other anatomical feature) off and schtick it upyer (pick an orifice, any orifice) you son of a (choose any living creature). I oughta come down there and (pick any violent action) your (expletive of your choice) …well, you get the picture. In America, if you’re a citizen of another country there are two things you don’t do: disrespect our president or our mamas. I have something to say to Hugo (what a pansy name): Your mother probably taught you better…that is, if donkeys could talk.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


Golf Carts, Immigration, and Viva FM

The latest fad in our sleepy little seaport is golf carts. It’s THE thing to own. They’re actually licensed to operate on city streets. I suppose there are some regulations including flashing yellow warning lights. Each evening at dusk, those wanting to be seen and wanting to see others, whir around the ten or so square blocks of downtown carrying dogs, children, cocktails, or all three. Often children are operating theses motorized caskets paying no attention to stop signs or traffic. As soon as a three thousand pound hunk of steel mangles and maims, the fad will be over or restrictions so enforced that it will no longer be fashionable.

The whole situation reminds me that our government leaders, federal, state, and local, always wait until there is a crisis or tragedy to do what makes sense. Take this illegal immigration thing for instance. I lived on the border in El Paso in the early 70’s and it would have taken an idiot not of know that immigrants were crossing the Rio Grande by the hundreds each day seeking a better life (or perhaps a hand out) in the US of A. Now, in 2007 it’s a crisis. Thirty years, times three hundred sixty five days a year, times a minimum of one hundred border hoppers a day, equals over a million new people in the US. And that’s a reaaaalll conservative estimate. And we wonder why there are so many Spanish language radio stations?

I wonder if those guys up in the international house of space station can see the little flashing lights on the golf carts of St Marys? Maybe they think they're lightning bugs. (singing) "Glow little golf cart, glitter glitter". Damn, I starting to remind myself of Andy Rooney.

Saturday, September 09, 2006


A Senior Moment

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing ....and," pausing to take another drink of beer.

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son . We didn't have those things when we were we invented them. Now, you arrogant little fart, what are you doing for the next generation?"

The applause was resounding.

(source: unknown)

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