Life's Autumn

Overnight, gas prices, at the convenience store where I regularly shop, went up $0.25. Flashback to last night about 7:00PM: I'm leaving work and I say to myself "I bet gas will skyrocket tomorrow". I based this on the fact that ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, and NBC were doing their best to give gas station owners validation for what would happen, blaming it on hurricane Katrina.

Back to real time: It's 11AM, and I am driving down the street looking at gas prices from $2.65.9 up to $2.70.9…suddenly, like a shining beacon, I spot $2.45.9. I quickly pull in pop my credit card into the slot, get authorization, and start filling my tank. As I did so, an employee of the gas station came out with a big long pole and some pieces of plastic with numbers on them. I squeezed the gas pump handle to full throttle, seeing in my minds eye what was about to occur. That very gas coming from the underground tanks morphed from $2.45.9 to $2.70.9. How did the petroleum do that? Was it some chemical process akin to the biblical miracle when Jesus changed the water to wine? Was it done via computer from somewhere in the Sahara? Was this the Twilight Zone? Suddenly, the nozzle popped off. If I squeezed the nozzle again to top off my tank, would it be $245.9 or $2.70.9? I was more nervous that a contestant on jeopardy. Da da da da…da da da…da da da da da da dada da da (jeopardy suspense music). My palms were sweaty as I gingerly squeezed the lever. Whoosh, another 7/10 of a gallon, at the pre- miracle price, gushed forth, then click. I'd made it! I cheated the escalating gasoline price ogre.

Fast forward to 2055. At precisely the appointed time, the tiny chip implanted my grandson's inner ear starts streaming the news of the day.

"The Gas Price Commission released it's finding today in their three year investigation into unethical behavior of petroleum vendors back in 2005. Their conclusion is that 90% of the vendors acted in concert with the mainstream media to hose the American public."

The President's comment: "I don't want to comment until I've had a chance to read the entire report"

# posted by wordcraft @ 3:00 PM